Melancholy is the feeling I would get every time I had to leave him, he was the perfect combination of deep love and the deepest disappointments “eres bueno y maldito”.
Days next to him were always beautiful, he was equally as a song constantly being played around me with colours and penetrating emotions, a song that would touch my skin in a way that would agitate me. Inside my body he was like he was an earthquake for my bones and my veins, he hypnotized me, sometimes I wanted to leave my body and stay in spirit with him forever.
I was a dream machine with him, always dreaming of what I wanted to experience with him but I knew was impossible, so I abstained myself from reality and hallucinate of a world where I could witness beside him the perfect sunsets. I couldn’t hold my feelings for him.
I am convinced that we were two lovers who were aligned to be together, I would keep walking finding new towns, cities, moons, rivers but he will always look for me to remind me about who I am, even if I hide in the tallest mountain he will always find me to which I will always reply “No habrá manera, ni rayo de luna que tu te vayas”. It is as if I have him hiding in a cocoon inside of me to protect him from being stolen from me.
I would go always back to you to take you with me and disappear, is like if you are that remedy that I need. ¿Cómo consigo tener una cucharadita de tu miel? Myself desperate will ask you, to only get un beso. It seems like you are the only one who knows how to love me “por favor no me dejes, que soy valiente en corresponderte” my heart will yell every time we are playing that game that creates new humans to at the end also tell you, wish me well you got to let me go. We are just dancers pretending to be humans, even sometimes we are on our knees asking for answers to our feelings of our chaotic relationship.
I still have a secret code with him that forms a pattern yet to be matched, his name is Mexico.